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Manzhou Buddhist Youth AssociationBiblio.com

Lecture by His Highness Kozui Okoku

[Youth Culture – 1950s – Dance] Lawrence, DavidBiblio.com

Letters to a Dancer from Friends Concerning Life as Artistic Young People in Post-War California

1940List2749California 1940. Approximately 248 total pages: 149 8.5 x 11 inches and smaller three typed and ninety-nine 5 x 8 inches and smaller. Most undated; those with dates ranging from 1944 to 1958. Ninety-two pages from Nancy Gotthart and eighty-six pages from Helen Gotthart; the remaining from various friends either unsigned or with first name only. Many letters missing pages. Generally fine. David Lawrence was part of a cohort of young dancers in Southern California; he modeled and may have danced in the SoCal Ballet. His correspondents here include Nancy Gotthart an aspiring artist and writer whom Lawrence met in a dance class; Helen Gotthart Nancyâ€™s mother; Leisa a fellow aspiring dancer; Wendy a dancer with the Players Guild; and others. Offered here is a large lot of letters mainly to Lawrence from friends with those dated spanning from the mid-1940s to the late 1950s. His friends who are mostly women seem to be in their late teens to early twenties and are struggling to adjust to young adult life in the postwar era. Fellow dancer Leisa writes perceptively that: â€œI know it is rough all over but in a couple of years the whole world is going to see a change and there will be a chance for the creative person to do something that he feels he is supposed to do. I know how much I want to dance and also how much you want to dance but to be realistic and not emotional under the conditions of the world today we would never be able to get what we want.â€ No Date In the meantime the friends are open about the emotional effects of this transitional time. Nancy Gotthart tells Lawrence that: â€œI am in my little cave. It is a mess â€“ broken glass a couple of oil paintings torn and strewn about my radio smashed in a sick heap by the bookcase while various parts are scattered from one end of the apartment to the other. An empty scotch bottle reigns over the general chaos. . It was after I tore up the paintings I had scratched my wrist and it was bleeding slightly â€“ you know how it is with an animal when it scents blood: it wants more: and so did I.â€ October 28 1958 Leisa and their mutual friends are troubled as well. She writes: â€œDick was put in an institution because he told someone he saw God and for 8 months he was given nothing but shock treatments. Please donâ€™t say anything to anyone And I was put in a home for girls because I hated People and told everyone God was going to destroy them. So you see what happens to people when you arnâ€™t given understanding.â€ No Date Lawrence expresses a similar sentiment in an unsent response to a letter from his friend Wendy. Wendy is â€œworking with the Players Guild a group of dancers headed by Raoul PausÃ© and Marce Wildâ€ and is starting â€œrehearsals for a jazy sic ballet in which Ron Pointdexter has done the choreographyâ€ April 30 1958. At that time Lawrence was taking classes and modeling in Hollywood. In his letter to Wendy after several missing pages he concludes: â€œ. or anything just alone â€“ an empty feeling of some urge of destruction â€“ A smash-up â€“ any one anything â€“ the sudden desire to destroy with no attempt of physical violence â€“ this conflicting urge swells with in me like a massive wave â€“ bound for destruction â€“ building higher and higher â€“ nothing can prevent it â€“ like a tital sic wave it reaches its climax â€“ then down it smashes â€“ nothing gained â€“ nothing lost â€“ just a desire of self pity with no conclusion â€“â€ November 13 1958 In a draft of a letter also in the archive from a Lorraine to Tomâ€”perhaps Lorraine was a friend that Lawrence was helping to write this letterâ€”these feelings are located squarely in the context of malaise surrounding World War II: â€œAs for my job that is of no consequence. I have given notice and this Saturday will be my last day at Gilfillan. . When I took the job I went with innocent believing eyes thinking I was doing what I should for the war effort. I only find myself now a human parasite wasting Â½ my time doing nothing â€“ and the most important thing expected of me is to look busy when the â€œbig shotsâ€ go through the plant. Such waste of precious time â€“ how I feel with you the impossible hand of army routine life crushing out all possibility of creativeness! And if one doesnâ€™t rebel inwardly for actively it is impossible to do in your position he falls into the rut which too many people eventually accept as part of them.â€ August 25 1944 Fortunately Lawrence has a supportive adult in his life: Nancyâ€™s mother Helen Gotthart with whom Lawrence has a lengthy correspondence and an ambiguously tender relationship. Helenâ€”who is a real estate agent and aspiring writerâ€”encourages Lawrence to stick with dancing: â€œI want to insist again that you must take at least one or two classes a week or get into your dance clothes and give yourself a barre at the kitchen sink . but donâ€™t allow yourself to get stiff whatever you do. And look like crazy for another job where you can get classes and maybe attend rehearsals again . If you let things drift as they are without trying to do better in any and every way possible then you will be as bad as R. only in a different way.â€ September 13 1957 She assures him that â€œif we both do our best and work as hard as we can perhaps we will both come out on topâ€ and promises to â€œdo all I can to help you or possibly I should say â€˜to help you help yourselfâ€™ because dance is a thing you must do for yourselfâ€ November 10 NY. Also of interest in the archive is Nancyâ€™s appraisal of the contemporary treatment of gay men which they discuss several times. Nancy writes: â€œOh yes you made reference to some â€˜raidsâ€™. Were you referring to the round-up of homosexuals There has been a great-to-do about it in the papers. Several private citizens and you remember Ermine Duccini Well he was picked up. And on account of public opinions mothers primarily he is going to be dropped from page missingâ€¦ turn their efforts to rounding-up dope-pushers and the like. The strange ideas & hates of the great unwashed are incomprehensible to me. I guess they feel the murders committed by the sale of heroin are less terrible. Not so with me; I believe in live and let live.â€ May 8 1958 At another point she remarks: â€œAs far as I am concerned what should be done with such people i.e. gay men is let them alone. They are as much human beings perhaps more as anyone else. After all one isnâ€™t condemned because he prefers green to blue why would one be condemned for preferring someone of oneâ€™s own sex And the thing that really gets me about all this business is that a married man can philander and make every woman he feels inclined to while two men or two women who really love each other and donâ€™t go on the make have no rights according to our brave government. This makes me want to vomit.â€ No Date The friendsâ€™ unconventional attitudes towards sexuality seem to apply to their own lives as well. Included in the archive is a very graphic break-up letter from an unknown woman to Lawrence; the fourteen-page letter is surprisingly sexually explicit contravening stereotypes of the time: â€œI have more tenderness warmth passion and understanding in my little finger than most women in their whole person. Where do you think â€“ from what well do I draw what you feel when you think Iâ€™m being submissive The well is bottomless never been drained though drank from copiously. Right now David I can come up with nine guys count them nine of which only two have slept with me that would come right out and say they love me! And thatâ€™s only on this coast! . You hurt my feelings tremendously by saying that as opposed to other women you â€˜don'tâ€™ like me when Iâ€™m not submissiveâ€™ ! A When am I not submissive Any touch from you renders me so any indication of your desire .â€ No Date Overall an uncommon survival providing an intimate look at the inner lives of American youths coming of age after the Second World War and before the next decadeâ€™s counterculture would allow them the creative freedom they desired. unknown

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